#24
July 20, 1999
My Dirty Laundry
One of the greatest things about being back in the US is that I can do laundry whenever I want to. Now that I'm staying at my mothers, I am always doing laundry, even if I don't have any dirty clothes. Just because I can.
When I was in Prague, it wasn't that big of a deal to do laundry. There were a couple of laundromats in the city. I chalked this up to the one thing about Prague that I didn't like, too many Americans. Whenever I went to do my laundry there, the laundromat would be full almost exclusively of Americans. I found this odd because having a laundry machine was a luxury that few locals could afford. But then, few could afford to go to a laundromat either. But Prague was Launderland central compared to Moscow.
When Carolyn and I moved to Moscow, we did not expect having our own washing machine in our apartment. We knew, that if people in Prague didn't have them, we weren't going to have one in Moscow. We were resolved to the fact that we would be washing our clothes in the sink, something that I wasn't looking forward to at all. But hey, I was looking for some new experiences, right? After all, people had lived for millennia without washing machines, right? And somehow they had survived. I was just a spoiled American. So it was much to our surprise and delight when we saw that indeed we did have a washing machine in our apartment. Sure, it wasn't a Maytag or whatever but still. It was this plastic contraption that you put in the tub. It was heavy and square and you had to set it on these plastic arms that were braced onto the side of the tub. You put the clothes and soap in, filled it up with water from the shower, and turned it on. It would shake and make all sorts of racket, and nine times out of ten it would falll off it's arms and empty out into the tub, but it was still better than doing the wash by hand. After it was done, you drained the water with this tube, then re-filled again. You did this about four times each load, depending on how clean and rinsed you wanted things. After the rinsing, I'd pull out my clothes to find that yes, they were cleaner, but they would inevitably be covered in lint. And I mean covered. They looked worse than when they were put in. And then came the worst part of the whole process , you'd have to take each article and shower all the lint off, and then ring all the excess water out. After a couple of shirts or socks, my hands would be so raw and painful that it would hurt to even pick up a book afterwards. It became quite a pain in the ass.
But even people that have modern washing machines in the countries I visited don't have dryers. Not one person I visited that owned a washing machine also had a dryer. Now this was no big deal, just put the clothes out on the line on the balcony. No problem. Except when it hits -30 outside. We ended up having to hang our clothes from the curtains in the kitchen. And it was only then, when I hung up my clothes, that I would see how many of my shirts had been torn to shreds by the machine. If I were lucky, only one shirt would have met its demise, but that was being lucky.
Soon enough we both were tired of doing our wash this way. One of our British friends who lived nearby had for two weeks followed every lead towards a laundromat in our general vicinity, but all he could find were places where you had to pay for each piece being washed. We tried that once, but it was way too expensive. We ended up taking our Levi's there, and washed the rest in the sink. Or rather, Carolyn would wash her clothes in the sink, and I would just start smelling really bad.
It wasn't until we had lived in Moscow for six months that a friend of ours, after hearing us bitch, told us that she had found a laundromat in a section of town where she used to live. It was off the Profsoyuznaya metro station. We were ecstatic, even though it was about an hour subway ride from where we lived. We started lugging our laundry to the opposite side of the city of 13 million or so, and it was well worth it. To actually sit in a laundromat and read while our clothes were washed and dryed! Feeling the softness of my socks as I folded them. Not having my t-shirts come out with holes and loose threads. Not having to ring out my underwear by hand. The clouds parted and I could see God smiling down on me. I had found the Promised Land. It's the little things that make like worth living.
So now, here I am at my moms, with my whites in the dryer. Hell, I don't even have to go to a laundromat, much less travel an hour to get to one. Life is good. I don't think I'll ever leave.
("That's what you think!" yells my mother.)
* * *
But enough of that ground breaking expose, it's letter time. I knew the previous file would generate some interesting responses, and I was not disappointed. So, off to letter land…
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Johnnie:
I have to take issue with some of your commentary. First, how sick can you get? Well, let me tell you. For you to say that those Riverside officers have "embraced their racism to the full hilt" is about the sickest thing I've heard lately. And for you to go around saying that garbage is to succumb to the same kind of crap that those leftist whackos like Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson are polluting the "black community" with. The reason they shaved their heads was because right after the district attorney announced that criminal charges would not be filed against the officers, blacks were attacking lone white males in phone booths and other various places---sending them to the hospital. The targets were known to be male whites with shaved heads (presumed to be skinheads). As soon as these
criminals realized that the guy in the phone booth by himself might be a cop, and they could end up dead, the attacks stopped. Yes, they were wholeheartedly supporting their comrades that were wrongfully treated, but you are only scratching the surface here. This is another one of those things that the liberal dominated media just doesn't report on. Try to be a little more supportive of the police and give them the benefit of the doubt. Then ask yourself who you are going to call first when you get attacked while by yourself in your wonderful hometown of Riverside.
James
Reply-
Well all right! I'm glad to know that not all my cherished readers are leftist whackos!
As someone who has very little hair on his head, I have on occasion been confused for being a skinhead. Especially back when I was delivering pizzas in the minority areas in Riverside. So, I guess the cops, by shaving their heads, did it to protect me myself, not the actual skins that do abound in that fair city. But doesn't their action seem a little reactionary? Wouldn't it have been better to not have initiated the actions that started this brouhaha in the first place? And did they not think that their shaving would make the minority population indeed not feel safer, but more threatened? Who is the RPD assigned to protect and serve, the whole population, or just those lucky white folks? What is going to happen when one of those minorities might need to call on the police, will they feel that their problems will be taken seriously and with compassion? I think not. My guess is they'll refrain from calling the cops no matter what. After all, what happened to Tyisha Miller when her family called the police for help?
I myself have been attacked because I was white. Right after the Rodney King verdict, and the love-fest that ensued, I was walking down the street in San Francisco (where I was living at the time) when I got punched in the face from out of nowhere. I turned, and a semi-circle of young blacks was surrounding me. Needless to say, I walked away. The next day I saw my neighbor, and the same group of thugs had pummeled him. That and I had water balloons thrown at my car. Did I like it? Of course not. But I knew why it had happened. At least in Riverside they weren't attacking random whites, but bald guys. At least they were attempting to smash up some guys who actually do deserve it.
But those two incidents are outnumbered by the times I have been harassed by the RPD myself. Why me, you might ask? Maybe because I'm a tattooed freak that doesn't wear clothes from the Galleria. Hell, when I was young and rode a scooter, I would be pulled over at least once a week, just to check my ID. And how many times has this happened when I have been simply walking down the street? I have lived in Riverside or Corona for the vast majority of my life. I have had enough dealings with cops for no other reason
than the way my friends or I look to write a book. Maybe this is the reason I sympathize more with the blacks on this issue than the cops.
I can continue on about the time when I was in LA County Jail for not paying a fine and watched a bunch of sheriffs pummel these Mexicans, but I've already said enough. I'll get back to the main point. Were the fired officers wrongly treated? It seems that the feds don't think so. In fact, nobody thinks so except their fellow officers. Of course they feel this way, it could be them next. After all, this isn't the first time something like this happened. One of the cops that beat up those illegals mentioned in the article was fired as well. And what about that guys partner? Just got picked up for child molestation in Elsinore.
I'll give the police support when they start giving me some. I have never called the cops, and if I was punched out in a telephone booth, I still wouldn't. I have been there when my friends have, and without exception they have treated my friends with as much suspicion as they would if they were the criminals.
By the way, isn't it interesting that the left says the right dominates the media, and the right says the opposite? Just a thought…
James, I don't agree with you, but I appreciate your comments. Now here are some comments by other leftist whackos who also might not agree with you.
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Johnnie,
YES! I have traveled extensively throughout the US and whether people are actually ready to believe it or not Riverside, California is without question one of the most fucked-up, ass backwards shitholes I have ever had the misfortune of stepping in. I have been ranting against the oppressive, racist, ignorant, 'big brother' policies of Riverside for
years.
Remember, Riverside was one of two cities in this country FIRST to place cameras throughout the city, randomly taking your picture as you drive through - you then receive a traffic violation IN THE MAIL, of course, without the benefit of a nice Riverside style cop beating because you reached for your cigarettes (really happened to me).
Riverside sucks on the withered and receding cock of the GOP, populated predominantly by better-than-thou, religious right driven, confused, twisted, easily led lemmings plunging headlong into the brine.
Thank you for bringing this to the attention of your readers.
torquefinger
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Johnnie,
You know this article just makes me cringe, even as I am watching the Republikan Congressmen ignore the kids from Colorado who came to DC as SafeTrip advocates for gun safety and juvenile justice.
But who needs protection in America when we're safely in the arms of lobbyists, right? And besides, all that equality crap was back in the1960s, so now it is just discrimination against the poor white man. We should abolish all that, because nothing is wrong in America. Oh no. Not at all.
Even if you are a black man in Jasper, Texas, out for a joyride behind a pickup truck, or a student in NYC who happens to accidentally wound himself 41 times in front of police officers. I'm sure those are just hyped up nothings to spice the evening news.
Sigh. America. The Beautiful?
Good article.
Thomas
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OK, maybe it's just because I am fortunate enough to live NEAR Riverside that I caught this but I thought if you happened to miss this news story (on Fox 11, of course), it would change your mind about Riverside making the news....
Last night they had a spread about a dog in Riverside that could skateboard. Not only could this adorable little boxer skateboard better than me, he put his skateboard away when he was done playing with it.
And you said Riverside only makes the news because their inhabitants are racist & stupid.....
Fox 11 has proved you wrong.
Best Regards,
Heather
Reply-
See, I try to make a point and I immediately am proven wrong. That was probably picked up by the Fox network and is all over the country. Damn dogs.
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Until next time…
#25
August 2, 1999
Take My Gun, Please!
(I wanted to title this rant 'Just Shoot Me!', but that's a blasted sit-com now!)
So another nut job has walked into his workplace and whacked a bunch of fellow co-workers, giving the network news something to babble on about for the next week. A chance to drag out the same old nattering nabobs to drone on about the hows, whys, and wherefors of this latest mass murder. And America yawns and runs to the corner gun store to stock up on more weapons and bullets. How many times have y'all seen the video of those people running from the office? I saw it like eight times the first day alone, and after that I turned off the TV. I'm bored with it. I'm bored with the feigned shock and outrage that permeates every newscast and wonk session when something like this happens, which is about once a month or so. Yes, it's terrible and yes, I feel for the families of those killed, but will anything be done to stop it? Of course not. How many people are killed each year on the nation's roads? A lot, right? But that is the price we pay to have quick, individualized transport in our go-go society. And it's certainly a lot more than the number of people whacked by guns. So, a few thousand are killed each year from guns. It's the price we gotta pay in order that we may be able to protect ourselves from other people with guns. I mean, it's my individual right! The government can pry my gun from my cold dead hands, right?
This is one of those things that people overseas just cannot understand about America. What's up with the guns? After those two teens took out their high school in Colorado, the powers that be blamed everything, Hollywood, video games, the internet, everything but guns for the massacre. It was only when the people themselves said something about the guns, was the man forced to do something, and even that was a cosmetic change that did nothing but placate some of the more ignorant masses. Of course, all this was a big joke to the Brits and Russians I worked with. "You don't want your kids to be shot? Take away their guns!" But then, they don't understand the intricacies of the bill of rights and all that. Second amendment, ya know. We have the right to bear arms to protect ourselves from the government. Except, of course, the government will always have bigger guns.
So I walk into work one day in Moscow, and a colleague says that some teens shot up a high school. I surf the net and read all about Littleton. After about an hour of digesting all the news, I was filled with my usual disgust for the USA and its love of firearms, and was once again convinced that America is as screwed up as any other country. I turned to my colleague and said, "Look at this, you don't see this happening in Russia." I thought that this was something that Russia had up on us, you never hear about Russian kids shooting up their shkola. "It's because they can't get guns." In my indignation I thought it was because Russians weren't as violent or respected each other or whatever, but of course this was a load of hooey. The simple fact was that you don't hear about mass stabbings. You don't hear about some 'disgruntled employee' (the catchword of the new millenium) walking into his workplace and beating twelve people to death. Or some nerd taking out the popular kids with poison spit darts. It doesn't happen.
And this all brings me back to my beloved hometown of Riverside. I found out recently that a couple of months ago the mayor was shot. This news didn't make the international news wires, because the guy didn't take out the whole city council (damn him!). I mean, if you're gonna make headlines today, you gotta do a mass kill. I think if anything what America has learned from the proliferation of guns in their country, is that if your going to use your gun, go all the way. Think big. It's what makes America great.
* * *
And now, for a change of subject, let's talk Middle East peace, shall we? The entire world rejoiced when Netanyahu was tossed from office a couple months ago. Finally, the main obstacle to peace was lifted, and the new Prime Minister would bring the two sides back to the negotiating table and peace would be just around the corner. Yeah yeah yeah.
Netanyahu may be gone, but his legacy lives on. Has Barak decided to go back to the Oslo Accords, the signed agreements brokered by his party and left to die by Netanyahu? Of course not. You can stick a fork in that and put it in a pita, with a little olive oil and yogurt. What Barak has to deal with is the Wye River agreement, a deal brokered by Netanyahu that gives the Palestinians a fraction of what Oslo gave them. And of course soon after that was signed Netanyahu halted its implementation. And now we have Barak.
So, does the new PM start implementing this bogus agreement immediately, proving to the world that he's not Netanyahu? No, he asks for it to be renegotiated. 'Hey, we'll do it, but can we at the same time begin the final peace talks, before this agreement is fulfilled?' I mean, it's not like Israel has backed out of every agreement that it has signed with the Palestinians, right?
In the Oslo accords, there were supposed to be three withdrawals from Palestinian territory before that final status talks, the talks that would deal with Jerusalem, refugees, and final statehood, among others, would start. The first phase was completed, but only after Netanyahu had renegotiated the troop withdrawal from Hebron. What they are doing now just deals with the SECOND withdrawal. Barak wants to speed everything up so that he can make a final deal with the Palestinians while not having to give them anymore land or freedom. In other words, he is following Netanyahu's plan. And he can do this with a minimum of criticism because he is NOT Netanyahu. He can throw the Palestinians the scrapes of Wye and be called a peacemaker. And when the Palestinians rightly rebuff any renegotiations, THEY will be branded as not working towards peace, not the Israelis. And when Wye has been implemented, the Palestinians will be pressured by the US to move straight to the final status talks, with no third phase withdrawal. And if they don't they will be told they are blocking peace.
Netanyahu has won. Sure, both the world and the Israeli media vilified him. Sure, he wasn't re-elected. But all the policies that he implemented, or more important, didn't implement, are now considered fait accompli. With his actions, international opinion had swung in favor of the Palestinians, but now the tide has turned favoring Barak, simply because he is not Netanyahu. And Barak will use this to his advantage to screw the Palestinians even more. And what can the Palestinians do about it? Their very survival depends on money from the US, because their industries and businesses have been gutted and the Israelis keep them from exporting what meager agricultural products they have. The Israelis control their internal markets as well. If they are to survive economically, let alone politically, when push comes to shove they have to bow to America's wishes, which invariably are the wishes of Israel.
Love love love.
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Once again, Budget Press is proud to announce the publication of our latest poetry collection, 'The Last Days of My Teeth' by Tom Hamilton. Tom is an Irishman traveling through America and his poems reflect an outsiders view of the beloved USA. He goes from Houston to Tennessee to Illinois, telling of his impressions about American culture and life in an original and provocative manner that only someone who has not been raised in the American miasma can relate. If you would like to order his 'bruised musings' from Budget Press send two stamps to Budget Press, 2764 Caminito Cedros, Del Mar, CA 92014. Check out the cover and read one of his poems at http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bpress. And be sure to keep an eye out in future Budget Files for more upcoming publications from Budget Press. August is going to be a busy month.
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Would you believe I didn't send out a file last week because I didn't know what to say?
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Check this out, Sylvester Stallone is talking with MGM about making 'Rocky VI'. What can I say. I'm speechless. I mean, it's a punchline all unto itself. Now, off to letter land. I was hoping the discussion on racism and cops would continue some more, but no such luck. But my laundry problems did elicit this response…
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Somehow my weekly trek to the laundromat, that is a mile and a half away does not seem so bad...
thank you for reminding me of how good things can be…
and getting out of one's head is what is needed at times.
Tina
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Until next time…
Budget Files