June 3, 1999
Big Macs and Borsch
So in a couple more weeks I'll be back in the USA. A big part of me has no desire to go back, there are far more places I want to see, both here in Russia and elsewhere, but, as the day of my departure draws nearer, the more I look forward to returning. I think that it would be impossible not to anticipate going home. Even though it is not my idea to return, but my scared belly and digestive systems idea, as each day ticks by I look more and more forward to being back in sunny CA. Of course, once I get home and am bored shitless, I'll want to get the hell out of the country.
The big question is what the hell I'm going to do come September. Will I stay in California and get a job? (Not my first choice, that's for sure) Maybe go to Taiwan, a place I'm not really that interested in, but pays well. Maybe Mexico. That would be hella cool, good food, good weather, people and a language I'm kinda familiar with, but no money. Or just come back to Russia, where I have some friends, am learning the language (badly), and fits in with my future studies. Plus, I would get a $100 a month raise.
But do I really want to do another Russian winter? I mean, it's June now, but to me it's still cold. I'm just to used to June being 90f or something. And another big consideration for me now, which I've never had to think about before, is the food. The part of my intestine that was taken out here in Russia is the part that helps digest fat. And Russian food is as fatty as you can get.
I love fatty food. Bread it and fry it and I'll eat it. That's how I've always been. So eating here in Russia, while certainly not the best food in the world, wasn’t that hard. Sausages, Pork Kebabs, Chicken Kiev (their variation of fried chicken). Lots of mayonnaise, and ice cream in the dead of winter. But now, all I can eat here is soup, salad, and bread. Now, Russian soups are very good, and the bread is delicious and hella cheap, but man can not live on bread and soup alone. And the salads here aren't anything like the salads back home. They don't do lettuce here that much, it's mostly cabbage, carrots, or potatoes. Not the most appetizing. So I've found myself recently eating more and more at American and Italian restaurants, places where the prices on the menu aren't in rubles, but in dollars. And sure, they have Cobb salads and veggie lasagna, but they are very expensive. Two people end up spending $25 or so for a meal. And those are the cheap places. I can't afford to do that very often.
If only there was a Taco Bell around. But there isn't. There are a few Mexican restaurants in town, but they are incredibly expensive. One time Carolyn and I were going through withdrawals, so we went to one of the Mexican restaurants in town and had two tacos, a quesadilla, and some enchiladas. Cost 50 bucks! Back in August, we were on a bus in Poland when we heard another American who was telling a friend about how she lived in Russia. There are no Taco Bells in Prague, where we were staying, or in Krakow, where we were visiting, so we asked her if there were in any in Russia. "Sure," she said. "In Moscow there's one by the Gorky Park metro station." So, needless to say, within the first few days of our arrival in Moscow we looked all over for this Taco Bell, but it wasn't to be found. I looked in the expat yellow pages, and there was no mention of a Taco Bell. "Which Russia did that girl go to?" we asked ourselves. An American we work with said that the nearest Taco Bell he knew of was in Warsaw. We almost went there. I know it may sound pretty pathetic to scour Europe looking for the crappiest 'Mexican' food there is, but hey, y'know. And now, considering it's like the only fast food I can eat, there is that added significance.
The only American fast food joint in Russia is McDonald's, and they are everywhere. There were a couple of Pizza Huts and Dunkin' Donuts, but they've closed up shop in the last couple of months. Back in the US I would never eat at McDonalds, unless they had that 99-cent Big Mac sale going on. But here, it's all there is when you just want to munch without thinking. Give me convenience or give me death. So it ended up that I was eating there like three times a week. But now that's been taken away from me. (OK, so I still eat there like once a week, but no french fries or McNuggets.) I find it odd that Mickey D's (as we in the know call it) is the only American fast food in Russia. In Prague, there was KFC and Burger King, and in Istanbul they even had Wendy's and Subways. But not here. I smell a rat, and not in the McNuggets. I think some money is being exchanged somewhere high up to keep out the competition. I once asked one of my students about this, and he agreed with me. You can buy postcards in the usual places of the McDonalds Russian corporate headquarters. I remember stumbling on the McDonalds HQ in Prague, in the embassy part of town. Between like the Thai and Togo embassy. They even had their McDonalds flag flying out front. Well, I thought, they are a nation unto themselves. And probably worth more than 90% of the countries in the world.
So there's one thing that I'm looking forward to when I get home, and that is the food. I'm still debating on whether my first meal off the plane will be Taco Bell or In-and-Out (for you non-Californians, the best burgers in the world). The Taco Bell would fit better into my diet, but one double-double won't kill me. After all, it's fresh. And probably lower in fat than a Big Mac. I'll ask my brother, he manages an In-and-Out. But besides that, overly health-conscious America has all the low & non-fat foods one can ask for. Like mayonnaise. And ice cream. It makes me cringe when I think that now I have to be of those people that watches what I eat, but I guess that's what turning into an old man is all about, right?
But will it keep me from coming back to Russia? Chinese food is pretty lean, and Mexican also, if you stay away from the carnitas and chorizo. (No chorizo! I just realized that! I'm gonna cry!) But I don't think that will be the deciding factor. As important as what I eat now is, I can't allow it to stop me from doing anything. Sure, it's a factor, but not the deciding one. I think the weather will be more important.
* * *
According to the latest Budget File poll, 50% of respondents are indeed living the vida loca. This is in stark contrast to the only 21% that have a dull, boring existence, while 29% of you don't understand Spanish in the first place. These results are a surprise to me, considering anybody that would sit on their computer reading my drivel, and then actually take the poll, must not have a very exciting life. Of course, only thirteen people actually did take the poll, so I'll just assume the majority of you who didn't are just living too much of a vida loca to bother. If you aren't partying too hard, be sure to take part in this weeks, highly un-scientific poll, at http://members.tripod.com/johnniebbaker/foolish/file.html.
* * *
Letters? Well of course I get a million of them, but only one seemed worthwhile...
* * *
every time i read your files i smile. the most recent one went over well in my econ class. we were discussing exchange rates, capital flight and so on.
Bina Patel
Denver
* * *
Until next time...
#21
July 10, 1999
The City as Graveyard
When all you have done for the last two years is read Russian history and Russian literature, it certainly gives you plenty to ponder as you make your way through daily life here in Moscow. Every building, every corner, every park and every face reflects the complex history and nature of this country. It seems that I am constantly being reminded of where I am, and what has happened here in the past. Now, of course, it might seem obvious that being in a place like Russia, so very different from California, that being reminded of the fact that this ain't LA is not that strange. But it isn't simply the people or the buildings or the subway that brings about this feeling. That is too easy. It's the story that is behind the people, the buildings, the subway, that really brings it on home, in a way that strips away the superficiality of what is obvious and hits you dead in the gut.
One of the best recent books about Russia is 'Lenin's Tomb' by David Remnick. If anybody out there is interested in Russia, this book is a must read. In it he talks some about the Stalinist terror, and while he isn't the first to do this, he also weaves the tale within the context of Moscow, in it's geography. I read this before I moved here, and I have used it as a kind of tour guide, for in it he goes to the sites of the mass Stalinist graves buried beneath parking lots, parks, and 'monuments to socialism'.
I live nearby the Moscow-Volga canal. Built in the 1930's, it connects the Moscow River with the Volga, which runs down to the Caspian Sea. This project, along with other canals, connects Russia in a web of waterways that allows for transport from the North Sea to the Black Sea, from St Petersburg to Astrakhan. And it was built under the most brutal conditions by slave labor. Remnick writes about one person he interviewed, a man who as a child grew up nearby the Moscow-Volga Canal during its construction. He would watch the convict guards, paid in vodka, beat the other laborers. And he would watch dogs carry off from the construction site mangled arms, legs. When one wasn't able to work, they were shot, and buried by the side of the canal. He would ask his parents what was going on, and they would tell him to keep his mouth shut. And, now, this is where I live. On both sides of the canal near where I live runs a park, lush with flowers, trees, and recreation areas. On occasion I find myself walking along its paths. But whenever I do, no mater what state of mind I'm in, my mind eventually wanders back to this same place 60 years ago. And I think, am I walking over the graves of countless unknowns, people forgotten as soon as they were arrested and sent to work? If I dug in that little hill there, would I come across a pile of broken bones? The Russian love of nature has been well documented, and it shows in the many beautiful forests and parks throughout Moscow. But whenever I walk through these densely wooded parts of town, I can't stop wondering if it was here, in this clump of trees, that the secret police or the interior ministry shot a couple hundred people, and buried them.
When I walk through Lubyanka Square, and pass the old KGB headquarters, still in use by the state security forces, I can’t help but think of the immense amount or torture and murder that took place within it’s walls. Of the empty cells with only a drain, where someone would be told to go and sit down, and then behind them a small slat would open behind them, just big enough for a gun to fire a bullet in the back of their head. Remnick tells us of how, during Stalin’ s reign, the crematoriums would be working around the clock, and that a film of ash would cover the surrounding neighborhood. And people would eat, sleep, live under this ash. How can I, or anybody else who has not lived through something like this, fathom how people could live at all during this time. And yet, they did. What else were they to do?
And that is something that haunts me, that forces it’s way into my thoughts at some of the oddest times. I’ll be sitting on the metro (what Muscovites are most proud of, but another thing that constantly reminds me off the millions killed in it’s construction), talking at work, or simply just sitting in a bar having a beer, when I’ll look at someone and think ‘this person did live through it’. How did they survive? What quirk of fate allowed them to live while millions of others didn’t? Who, of the countless faces I see every day, ratted on their friends or family, manufactured stories about fellow workers in order to move ahead at work? Or, conversely, who had their brother, sister, mother, father, grandparent, ground up in the machine? Was it that man there whose father’s arm the dogs dragged away from the gravesite? Did that women compromise her best friend, perhaps, in order to save her own neck? It’s not that I feel disgust, or pity. I try hard not to allow any judgmental thoughts into my head. For who am I to judge any of these resilient people? What the hell do I know about any of this, a boy from the suburbs of California? How many times have I had to make a choice between life or death, survival and betrayal or a short and brutal life in a gulag, or, in later years, a psychiatric hospital? What would I do under similar circumstances? These are just some of the things that float through my head living here in Moscow.
* * *
Yes, democracy is alive and well here in Moscow. A couple of days ago, Sergei Kiriyenko, who was prime minister when the economy collapsed in August, announced that he was going to run for Mayor in Moscow. Now, the current mayor here in town, Yuri Luzhkov, is one of the most powerful people in all of Russia. And one of the most popular, at least here in Moscow. He is considered to be one of the top candidates to take Yeltsin’s place as president come next June.
The problem for him was that the next election for mayor is at the same time as the presidential election. So was he going to give up running the center of all economic and political life in the country on the chance that he might be the next president? And what about Kiriyenko? He is very well known, and even though a vast majority of people in the country despise him, he garnishes a level of respect among the middle-class here in Moscow. Is this who Luzhkov wants to leave his empire to? Someone who thinks for himself?
No problem, actually. Just get the city Duma to change the Moscow electoral laws. Today the city Duma (council) moved up the mayoral election date from June 2000 to December 1999, when the parliamentary elections will be held. This allows Luzhkov to be re-elected as mayor, which he will be, because the people do like and respect him, and still run for president. And on the chance that he is elected president , he can hand pick his successor, and therefor keep his interests, financial and otherwise, under his control.
As that dolt comedian Yakov Smirnoff, who lives off of stupid rednecks in Branson, Missouri, perpetuating stereotypes of his own people, says: “What a country!”
* * *
So how many of you remember Budget File #13, ‘A Little Kosovo History’? Well an edited version has been published at http://www.theopinion.com under the title ‘The Field of Black Birds’. I encourage everybody to check out the site, especially those of you who write, or even those of you who don’t but have an opinion on something. There are articles on politics, society, entertainment, health, whatever. All you have to do to submit something is e-mail it in, and they don’t seem to have that strict a publishing policy, considering they published my ass.
* * *
So the latest poll results are in, and Mexico wins with 50% of the vote. Taiwan received 23% of the vote, while 29% believe that I should just go to hell. I assume that the hell vote equals returning to Riverside, although the option of staying in the USA received no votes what so ever. As far as returning to Russia, nobody seems to think that is a good idea, also garnering 0% of the vote. This surprises me, since this is the option I’m leaning too more than any other. As I prepare to leave Moscow, I am starting to miss the place already. I have grown comfortable here. Sure, the winter sucks, and the food isn’t the best in the world, but the people are great and the atmosphere of the country grows on you. I’ve made some friends and next year will be very interesting politically . In December there are parliamentary elections, followed by presidential elections in June. It would be a shame to miss those big events. I don’t know. We’ll see. Every day I change my mind. Be sure to stand up and be counted in this weeks un-scientific poll, at http://members.tripod.com/johnniebbaker/foolish/file.html.
* * *
These people don’t need my endorsement, but I’m going to give it anyway. For those who don’t know about the Onion, it is the most hilarious site on the internet. I have never laughed so hard in my life. It is a satirical newspaper that is both intelligent and knee-slapping funny. They have articles such as ‘Lilith Fair Performers, Attendees Achieve Largest-Ever Synchronized Ovulation’, ‘ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters’, ‘Casual One-Nighter Gives Strom Thurmond Change Of Heart On Gay Issue’, and ‘Vatican Rescinds 'Blessed' Status Of World's Meek- 'Screw The Meek,' Says Pope’. And I can just go on. By far the funniest shit on the net. You all must read this every week. Even The Economist has written about the Onion. j.b. says check it out at http://www.theonion.com.
* * *
Tomorrow is my last day of work. Saturday, my mom is coming to visit, and next week we’ll be in St Petersburg. I can’t wait. The center of the autocracy and the revolution. Then we’ll return to Moscow and visit the Kremlin and Lenin’s Tomb, something I haven’t done yet, believe it or not. On the 19th or 20th my friend Lionel is coming from the Czech Republic to visit, and then, on the 29th, it’ll be time to catch our Aeroflot flight back to the good ol’ USA. So the next Budget File probably won’t be until July, when I’m safe back in the protective custody of my mother, sitting on my own computer. So, until next time...
Budget Files
