I went back to America
this week.
Back to my home,
Back to my memories,
Back to the only place I really know,
Back to Bukowski.
Damn Hank,
I remember once,
I remember once I tried
to be
like you.
Drinking wine,
living in the ‘loin,
trying to write out
one-beat
old noir
lines
like I knew what I
was talking about.
But I couldn’t.
And I still can’t.
And now I write
about other
things,
as if history really matters,
as if politics really matters,
when nothing really matters
except
poetry.
Damn Hank,
I went back
this week
and remembered,
and was reminded,
that I can’t live that life
again.
* * *
I read in the local rag that Anglia, an English language book store here in town, which is incredibly over-priced (like every thing else foreign), had a few books marked way down. Being the budget-minded fella that I am, this certainly caught my eye. I noticed that one of the books was ‘The General Against the Kremlin’, a biography of Alexander Lebed that I had heard about. And it was only 95 rubles ($4), for a recent hardcover book. So off I went.
I walked into the store and immediately saw the book I wanted on a shelf by the entrance. I picked it up, but since I had just been paid, I thought I’d look around and see if there was anything else I could find cheap. I looked in the usual johnnie b. sections, Russian history, Russian lit, but the books I always look at were still hideously overpriced. Oh well, I thought, I still have to finish the book I’m reading, and then the Lebed book should keep me occupied for a week or so, and that will keep me until next payday. Besides, I had to get to work, and I didn’t have the time to browse and relax.
But as I headed towards the door, I saw another discount section, and what did I notice from afar but a certain name, a name that called out to me. Bukowski. I went over to look at the book. Now, Charles Bukowski books are some of the most expensive books anywhere. And in Russia, or, I should say, at Anglia, the only place I’ve seen Bukowski here, each book is over $30. Now, as much as I love this man, that’s just a little too much for my cheap ass to pay. Besides, I’ve got to stick to my strenuous regimen of Russian studies, with occasional detours into Turkish lit or Mid East politics. But this book of poetry and short stories, which was actually one that I had never seen before, ‘Betting on the Muse’, which I read behind the title page was published posthumously, was only 150 rubles! That’s like $6-$7! There was no way I could pass this up!
Now, at first, I planned on reading the Lebed book first. But the Bukowski was calling me from the bookshelf. I picked it out and read a few poems, and I was kicked in the balls as usual. Only Hank can treat me like that. But I am of the sort that can only read one book at a time. I know plenty of people that read 2 or 3 books at a time, but I just can’t do that. I couldn’t even when I was in school. So as much as I pined for the book, I had to put it back on the shelf until I finished the book I was reading, an opus of about 600 pages, that I was half way through. (By the way, that book was ‘The Sabres of Paradise’, a must read for anybody interested in the Caucasus.) So it wasn’t until 6 days after I had bought the book that I started to read it.
And all I can say I said already.
* * *
But since I have already tried, and failed, at being Bukowski, I must continue with this life, one where I try to be David Remnick or Robert Kaplan. Of course, in the end, I’ll probably have the same amount of success.
* * *
Abdullah Ocalan was arrested, finally, by the Turks. And now another chapter in this long book has begun. A book which doesn’t have a foreseeable ending. I hope that after a while, the Kurds in exile will calm down, and stop from making the people of the world think that they are indeed nothing but terrorists. As much as one may sympathize with their cause, storming embassies and destroying Turkish restaurants are not going to swing world opinion their way. Since Ocalan’s arrest, the Turkish authorities have stepped up their attacks against alleged PKK members in Turkey, where over 1000 people have been arrested in the past week, and against PKK camps in northern Iraq.
I feel the best hope for Ocalan and their cause is indeed his trial in Turkey. Like Anwar Ibrahim’s trial in Malaysia, it will be as much a trial of the ruling government, whether it respects the rule of law and is willing to put emotional and political sentiments aside and conduct a fair trial. But unlike Malaysia, which is situated far away from the western power centers and is not as strategically important, Turkey is in Europe (at least to the Turks) and is a bulwark of American foreign policy. Also, the mass of both Turkish and Kurdish immigrants in Europe will sharpen the spotlight even more on what develops.
I think that the plight of the Kurds, not just the Kurds in Turkey but also those in Iraq, shows American foreign policy at it’s most hypocritical. At the present time Turkey has once again invaded Iraq to attempt to stomp out the PKK in the camps along the border. And this is not the first time they have done this; in fact, one Turkish higher-up called it a ‘routine operation’. Of course, we all know about the ‘no-fly’ zones in Iraq. The northern one is to protect the Kurds in Iraq from Saddam. But ever since this no-fly zone has been in effect, and the Iraqi military has been excluded from the area, the Turks have been able at their whim to invade this same ‘protected’ area to hunt after its own Kurds. It seems OK for one government to torture and prosecute its Kurds, but not another. The US has even given financial, political, and logistical support for the Iraqi opposition, which include the Kurds, to overthrow Saddam’s government. They have tried to help the Iraqi Kurds set up an autonomous government. And yet, the US is one of the only governments to openly support the Turks in their fight against Ocalan and the PKK. They have backed the Turks every inch of the way as they fought to get Ocalan. And they have continually kept silent about Turkey’s incursions into Iraq. Now where is the sense in this? The PKK has never called for the overthrow of the Turkish regime, just recognition of their rights and autonomy, something that the US has supported for the Iraqi Kurds, the Kosovars, etc. What makes the Turkish Kurds different? My only hope is that with Ocalan’s trial, there will be a closer scrutiny of the Turks and their methods, and of the Kurdish cause, by America and its media, and this in turn may influence the US government, which in turn has tremendous influence in Turkey, to look at their policy in a different way. Of course, I won’t hold my breath.
* * *
RE:
Budget File #1
I saw this little article in the Moscow Tribune the other day:
Russian emigration to Israel jumps by 30%
Jerusalem (AFP) – The number of Russians emigrating to Israel has jumped at least 30% during the past two months compared to the same period last year.
According to figures compiled by the Jewish Agency which oversees immigration, 3,320 immigrants arrived by plane from Russia during December and January, compared to 2,200 a year earlier. An unknown amount of Russians also arrived in Israel by sea, the agency said.
* * *
I just want to say regarding this article that while the increase may have been influenced by rising anti-Semitism in Russia, I think the real reason for this rise is the terrible state that Russia is in right now. I think any Russian in their right mind would get the hell out if they had the chance. I also think that since the collapse, and the rise in anti-Semitic rhetoric that ensued, this same rhetoric has indeed died down. Yuri Luzhkov, the mayor of Moscow and a future presidential candidate, Yevgeny Primikov, and even Boris himself have come out and blasted all those who blame the Jews for this countries ills. The press has been vehemently attacking all who spout anti-Semitism. I truly believe that the majority of this country does not buy the old ‘Zionist conspiracy’ line any more. It can still be a viable tool to politically influence the less astute members of society, but I don’t foresee it becoming a very large issue in the upcoming election season. If it does, probably the ones that will be most to blame is the media and non anti-Semitic politicians themselves, who will blow everything out of proportion for their own political gain. This next year should be even more interesting than the last.
* * *
Hey Hey Everybody! Got a great tape in the mail three days ago! It’s the latest episode (#3) of White Noise Radio Theater! Straight from the Digital Hub-Bubble Studio Complex in semi-scenic Pacifica, CA, White Noise Radio Theater will bring you back to those days when listening to the radio was a form of entertainment! Some of the funniest shit I have heard in a long time. After hearing the first two, I was waiting with baited breath for the next episode of ‘The Stigmata’, a catholic priest/crime-fighter, and was not disappointed. The old-school musical stylings of ‘My Jaunty Prostitute’ sent me on a nostalgic wave that has yet to crash. If you have any doubts about whether you should order your copy of White Noise Radio Theater #3 ‘Thankless Jobs of the Apocalypse’, click on the link below, which will lead you to an A+ website where you can hear samples of their programs yourself! White Noise Radio Theater! Don’t miss it!
http://hmilton.home.texas.net/features/noise/index.html
* * *
And now, off to letter land…
* * *
RE:
Budget File #8
Mr. Johnnie B. Baker
It is pure hogwash to think that Russia or any country should have a "BASIC RIGHT" export weapons of mass destruction to any country. With that said I think you have forgotten the real issues here. First, the US, Britain, and France, are dependent on the revenue generated by their own arms industry. Case in point, the recent sales of Migs to Yemen, these planes are in many aspects superior to the American and European aircraft. More importantly they are much cheaper and easier to maintain. Nuclear power is the big question for the 21st century, and the coming population explosion in the Middle East. Iran has just gone over the 72 million mark and they do not have enough water resources for hydroelectric power. The Russian government is well within its rights to pursue all avenues of "free trade". However, sanctions are a growing issue if they are only bilateral. Syria, and Iran will buy what they need, from China, France, or even Israel: they will sell to any body.
Cheerio
Bob Kirby
Upland, CA, USA
Reply-
Now, I never said that anybody had the basic right to export weapons of mass destruction. And while in the global arms market, the Americans and Europeans do compete with the Russians, this is not true in the countries I mentioned in the article. The reasoning behind the US being against any business with Iran and Syria is not because of Russia increasing their market share. But I think we agree on just about everything else. Very good point concerning Iran’s future energy capabilities. You reinforce my point.
* * *
RE:
Budget File #7 and letters in Budget File #8
Johnnie,
Thanks for the reply. First thing - the infamous Canadian flag that every travelling Canadian abroad feels they have to wear. Why is that?? …You call it "penis envy" I call it "ignorance" on the part of the people that don’t know there is a difference between Americans and Canadians…The reason we wear our little flags is that when travelling through countries is so that people know we are from Canada - obvious, but so we don’t get mixed up with Americans. We are so close, but so far. Sure you guys expect us to be envious of you because you have all the industry, cash and what not, but I don’t have to deal with a bunch of wackos totting guns and killing abortion doctors all the time. I love my little Canada -the population of our country can fit in your home state…Pathetic??? Why pathetic - because we can’t legally carry guns in the grocery store (I don’t know one state where this is possible - Ed) - pathetic - because we have so much land we don’t know what to do with it - pathetic because I feel safe walking into the bar and not being searched??? Pathetic because I am respected when travelling outside of the borders of my own country…Friend of mine in Sweden met these two American guys- "Do we sound like Americans??? We want to fit in with the Sweeeedish people" Sure BillyBob, sure.... ohhh johnnie, even you cant say I’M FROM THE UNITED STATES -you have to say I’m from California - a more relaxed and liberal state –don’t want to show who you really are. Bottom line of all the countries in the world, Canada is one of the best, with natural beauty, safe (except TO), nice friendly people, relatively low tax, and we have neighbors that will do all our dirty work- THANKS UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Keith Freeman
Canada
Reply-
First off, I want to apologize for calling you pathetic. Sometimes I start writing and once you get on a roll…
Y’know, every Canadian I have ever met has been polite, friendly, and extremely nice. I have have traveled a little in your country, and not only have been astounded by it’s beauty but also by it’s cleanliness. I am even envious of your health system (although I probably wouldn’t be able to stand the resulting high cigarette and liquor taxes!). But I don’t think Americans expect Canadians to be envious of us. And the perhaps the reasoning behind all Americans being treated like idiots abroad is the willingness to clump people into negative stereotypes, which you seem to enjoy perpetuating. And, of course, our governments screwed up foreign policy has a lot to do with it. But generally I think that the people of the world do indeed like Americans, they find them open and friendly, albeit a little obnoxious at times. And that leads me to an important point. I think that reason people can’t tell the difference between Americans and Canadians is that we’re so damn alike! The similarities far outweigh the differences.
Another misconception I want to point out, one that I’m a constantly having to point out, is that California is a bastion of liberalism. In fact, after you leave Sodom and Gomorrah (LA and SF), California is one of the most conservative states in the Union. Especially where I’m from, the suburbs of LA, where we continually elect some of the most reactionary politicians anywhere. The reason I say I’m from California is plain and simple that it conjures up different images in people’s minds. Beaches, sunny weather, Baywatch. Historically, California has been perceived as the land of milk and honey, even more so than the US itself. (A myth, for sure.) But everybody knows it’s in the US. California is just one of those states, like Texas, where the people just feel their different from the rest of the US. Sure, it’s foolish, but I can’t help it.
And by the way, the US does have lower taxes than Canada.
* * *
Ah yes, the Canadians. I also have never denied where I am from while traveling and also say I am from California (when I'm not even), I also have heard the "but you actually know geography and languages" and whatnots; I must say in defense of the poor Canadians that it is a fact that Americans don't even know where Canada is located and that's GOT to be humiliating. And they DO manage to have a somewhat more tolerant system going on (albeit the little problem of the books etc. getting across border) but charge way too much fucking taxes.
Brenda Semrow
San Francisco
* * *
I find Western Europeans (especially the English, the Germans, the Scandinavians) are bigger clods than Americans, mostly because they've lost their sense of the sacred--due to general economic prosperity.
Oddly-- though I was born in Pennsylvania, nobody here believes I'm really 'an American.' They think I'm a Pole pretending to be an American.
Poles generally like and admire Americans.
Leo Yankevich
Poland?
* * *
Please remove me from your mailing list as I have become weary of your constant America bashing. I thought your first article interesting, but since then your pieces have become too subjective, you should restrain yourself to reporting objectively on your experiences. I must say I found it ironic that as you made fun of the expat on Super Bowl Sunday for his sneering you did not notice you are guilty of the same judgmental attitude.
Deborah Galvin
Reply-
Hey, I’ve never said I wasn’t judgmental!
* * *
Dear johnnie,
I enjoy reading your Budget Files and other people's comments, however I do have one question for you. Do you have to be so fucking rude when you answer them??? Take the Canadian guy for example, he asked a very valid question, why do Americans feel like they have to lie about where they are from?? Your response to him was rude and a bit nonsensical. What the hell does this penis envy have to do with anything? Is that really why Canadians wear their flags on their bags (which I'll agree with you is a bit silly) and what do Canadian nachos have to do with his comment? And calling Canadians pathetic that is really rude and totally uncalled for. I think you should try and be a bit more tactful or else your Budget Files will begin to resemble the Jerry Springer show.
CC
Moscow
Reply-
OK, I apologized for calling him pathetic, you satisfied?
* * *
Until next time…
#10
February 27, 1999
Same Old News
(This is a piece that originally appeared in the December issue of ‘For the Clerisy’, a zine published by Brant Kresovich. I feel lazy today.)
"Small wonder that in a recent poll of high school students the professions of engineer, scientist, and researcher were ranked near the bottom, with prostitue and hired assasin well ahead."
Went to Moscow State University today, because I like hanging out at colleges, and what did I see but some American reporter taping a segment on the front steps of the massive main building. Above is what he said, and it came as no real suprise to me. How many times have I heard that already. Real original. The same old stuff the American public has been told now for years.
I'd like to see that poll. Of course, he didn't say who took the poll or what the actual question was. Just generalizations, of the type the American media is famous for when it comes to any world news. And as he tapes his segment, classes let out, and hundreds of future Russian engineers, scientists, and researchers come out the revolving doors, and get in his way. He must have tried a dozen times to finish his segment.
I can just imagine these "high school" students filling out the poll questionaire. I'm sure, just like teenagers in the U.S., they must have laughed and filled out "prostitute" and "hired assasin" as a joke. Just the fact that they were choices says something. Would those choices be on a poll of American students? Maybe they just don't know what they want to be like kids everywhere. Do the majority of Russian kids today really want to kill or sell their bodies for money? I'd really like to see where "buisness" or "economics" ranked on that list. Of course, those occupations aren't sensational enough for the American media.
I would actually like to see this reporters final piece. In what context were the above remarks used? Probably something about economic collapse and social disintigration, greatly exgerated. The kind of stuff that will make my mom worry. The kind of stuff that gives Jeese Helms and his reactionary ilk more ammunition to call for an isolationist foriegn policy.
So here I am in Russia, teaching these future hit-men and whores english. Maybe they'll be able to quote Jules from Pulp Fiction before they off somebody. Or, "Hey baby, me love you long time." But maybe, just maybe, there will be some students who paid (or their parents paid) their fast devaluating rubles so they can have a more productive future. Of course, this would not make news in America. No sex and violence.
* * *
‘For the Clerisy: Good News for Readers’ is one of my favorite zines, published on a monthly basis by Brant Kresovich, out of New York. The vast majority of each issue is made up of whatever is molting in Brant’s mind at the time, the last issue I received talked about the hazards of finding a job as a TEFL administrator in the States. But it is also a chronichle of his travels, opinions, and interpretations of life. It is a very good read, intelligently written. He also does some reviews and has a letter page. I always look forward to receiving his newsletter, which sets a consistantly high standard for me to shoot for. I have published some of his work myself, which can be found in Budget Press International, from the homepage http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bpress. If you would like to order a copy of his zine, send $2 to:
Brant Kresovich
PO Box 404
Getzville NY USA
14068-0404
* * *
Budget Press is proud to announce the publication of ‘The Suchdol Diaries’ by Matthew Carr! This is the latest in our continuing effort to bombard you with the everything we can get our hands on! Matthew writes from Prague, and shares with us his prosaic impressions of life abroad, with a healthy dose of sex, alcohol, and the travails of being a writer in a land where you can’t speak the language. Check out a sample of his work, once again from the homepage http://www.angelfire.com/ca/bpress. And be sure to order your copy by sending two well concealed dollars to:
johnnie b. baker
c/o Language Link
103030 Moscow
Novoslobodskaya 5/2
Russia
In the coming months Budget Press will be coming out with more chapbooks, so keep an eye on the Budget Files or the homepage to see what we’ll have to offer, and when you can get it!
* * *
And now, off to letter land…
* * *
Dear John (I always wanted to do that),
I read your recent File submission tonight and I must say, I tearfully enjoyed the first section. I, unlike some people, like the personal observances. Those of us who are too busy living their lives to fret the plight of the oppressed on the other side of the world, those of us who could give less than a damn about the never-ending tirades of some sweaty, guttural sounding languaged, freak, and the witless idiots who put up with him, those of us who think Curds should get back together with Whey for a reunion tour (or at least a greatest hits album and a "Where Are They Now" spot on VH1), yes, believe it or not some of us are interested in the impressions, the skewed point of view, of an educated, intelligent, and (I'm sure I'm going to regret this) sensitive writer trapped in a historians sensibility!! So write on my strong willed brother, some of us love you for your mind, not for your politics.
Which brings me to my actual comment on Budget File #9. DAMN HANK is strong work. Believe me, I read a lot of poets -both living and dead, and I don't lightly assign so clear a critique, strong work. I was reminded of times in my life when I crawled into Chinaski's soul and balled myself up in the fetal position, thumb in mouth, and found sanctuary, the only real sanctuary that exists, the truth.
Donald Hall once said, "Poetry is one man's soul talking to another," and DAMN HANK, like so much of Bukowski's work, tears it's way through the setting, through the silly bla bla bla of life, and offers up a street wise (if not weary) clear hole shot into the poets heart. A great poem takes the reader in and transforms him into the author. A great poem doesn't speak at the reader, but rather places him or her into the moment of the poet. Victor Hernandez Cruz said, "Poetry gives us revelations, flashes, which illuminate those things which were mysterious to us." So John, please don't turn off the light, there are far too many mysteries yet unsolved…
torquefinger
* * *
...You're really rollin' with these Budget Files, a regular stream of bile, vitriol, and occasional objectivity. I'm just sorry that whole "top/bottom" debate had to peter out so quickly. I think you guys were making some real progress. My two cents, as to the whole Canadian/American abroad thing: I live in California, but I was born and reared in Texas, and when I was in Eastern Europe a few years ago, I found what you said to be very true. You mention either of these places, they automatically conjure images in people's minds that are quite distinct from the rest of America, I guess because they've both been so heavily portrayed/mythologized in TV and film. I suppose only New York City could provoke a similar response. And finally, yeah, I think there comes a time when we all out grow our Bukowski phase, like once you hit the age of 30 and realize you're not a hopeless alcoholic, despite all your best efforts of the previous 15 years or so. When you get a life, and responsibilities (shudder), and the few times a month (or year) that you do get drunk you wonder how a guy like him ever managed to produce so much, how much was fact, how much myth? So you turn to history, or pure fiction, or else sell out and join an advertising firm. Are there really any other options? Oh, of course, there's always computers.
Stephen Brophy
White Noise Radio Theater
* * *
Johnny,
I think you should refrain from using the computer when you're in a manic state. You do make enemies at that time. When your comments sound dogmatic and intolerant they are ineffective. Remember, when zeal enlists the strongest prejudices of the human mind (especially if misdirected) the worst passions of our nature are excited under the pretext of revealing truth.You don't want your writings, which are meant to promote truth, to instead seemingly promote intolerance, bigotry or hatred. People will not understand that it isn't America you hate, but rather a corruption of the system. How better it is to use the tools that I know are at your disposal, namely reason and persuation. You must always demonstrate that you respect the dignity of another persons ideas. You do this by your words and manner. When words are graciously spoken and not dogmatic in tone, even when you are convinced that you are right, you show the other person respect. In this way the seed of truth has the possibility to grow. Its true that popular thought is generally wrong. Religiously speaking, I've always thought that if Jesus Christ was on the earth today, Christians would be the first to want to destroy him, because popular opinion of his teaching have been so distorted that people would think he was anti-religion. But that doesn't give me the right to attack those who feel differently. I can only hope to gently reason with them. As Thomas Jefferson said, "Reason and free inquiry are the only effectual agents againt error...They are the natural enemies of error". Only those geniunely searching for truth will weigh and consider and pursue reason and free inquiry. Since finding truth requires enormous effort and a rejection of long heldbeliefs, it doesn't come to people easily. And for most, it doesn't come at all. So we must be gentle with those who want to take the journey. Although politics is not my "bag", and I feel that nationalism, like racism, is death dealing and devisive, I enjoy reading Budget Press. I just hope you will show a more tolerant and less dominating attitude. A loyal fan.
Kathy
California
* * *
Mr Baker, don't you DARE water down or censor your fertile moltings known as the buget files! Fuck 'em if they can't take joke.
