February 6, 1999
The Expat Bowl
I went and saw the Super Bowl last Sunday, or should I say Monday, considering the game started at 2AM Moscow time. Being so far away from home, I didn't follow the season as much as normally would, just catching the scores in the Tuesday Moscow Times. What I found most suprising, week after week, was that the Atlanta Falcons were winning games! Now, I figured that it was because they had a weak schedule, all those years of losing plus playing against the Rams and Saints twice a year and even Oregon State might win a few games. But then the beat the 49ers. Hmmm, interesting. And then I read that Steve DeBerg was playing quarterback. Now, that's a sure sign of a winner. When playoff time came around, I started to read the stories on the net, quickly, because I was starting to feel left out. You know how it is, certain things just make one homesick. When the Falcons beat the 49ers, again, this time in the playoffs, my curiosity got the best of me. I found out a place where they were showing the conference finals, and went to see the Atlanta-Minnesota game.
Now, I know all this sports talk will bore a good portion of my readership, but I'm just setting the scene a bit, giving you some insight into why I would venture out into places that I would never go to in the first place, places full of expat Americans. I hate expats. (Now, I don't really consider myself an expat. When I think of expats, I think of lawyers and businessmen out to make money, living in hotels or western-style apartments, eating at expensive restaurants, their expense accounts paying for everything. I think of most English teachers as slackers who couldn't get a job back home, like myself.) But my urge to see these Falcons, plus a little homesickness compelled me to go. So me and the wife went to a sports bar and saw the game. The place was full of these expat types, but we kept to ourselves, and apart from overhearing at one point "I should have went to the Embassy to see the game" it was a pleasant experience. It was a real good game, and the Falcons won.
So two weeks later, it was time for the Super Bowl. The place where I saw the previous game was selling tickets for $60, so there was no way I was going to see the game there, even if they were going to have a satellite feed with John Madden and Pat Sumerall. I looked in the paper and saw a bar that would have the game for only 100 rubles ($4), with all you can eat and drink. Well all right! That's sounds like a deal. The wife didn't feel like staying up all night, when we had to work the next day, and after trying unsuccessfully to get a fellow American teacher to go with me, I went there by myself. I mean, as much as I try to deny my Americanness, I had to watch that most American spectacle of them all. So off I went.
I arrived at the bar at 1AM, and the place was already full. I tried to pay my 100 rubles to somebody, but they wouldn't take it. Nobody spoke any English, of course. Right behind me was another American, and the people that worked there assumed that we were together. After trying unsuccessfully to decipher what we were being told, this American guy went up to the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender gave him two, so he handed one to me. Nobody took our money, so we walked away, only to be told by someone that we had to pay 120 rubles for the beer. We paid, of course. Neither of us were surprised that this 100-ruble thing was a scam. This is everyday life in Moscow.
We found some chairs and sat down. The guy's name was Phil. He was obviously from the northeast, what with his accent and the way he spoke out of the side of his mouth. And I was right, a Bostonian. He had been living in Moscow for 3 ½ years, having married a Russian girl back in the states and moving to Russia with her. "Y'know," he said, "You're the first American I've talked to for months. I avoid them. Most of them are here to make money and they always badmouth the country. I only hang out with Russians." I agreed with him, that 95% of the Americans in Moscow are wankers.
Right after he had told me this, another American came in and sat down beside us. He spoke fluent Russian, and told us that he had even been born in Russia. But he was quick to add that he was not Russian, but American, and then proceeded to tell us his resume, which consisted of a few schools I had heard of and topped of with a law degree from Georgetown (a Hoya cap was on his head). "I wanted to be an agent, and got a job in the Mail Room at William Morris, but I can't work for only $400 a week, so I went to Georgetown." Me and Phil glanced at each other with that "oh, brother" look. Then it was "I took my girlfriend to the Jazz Cafe the other day and a Long Island Ice Tea cost $20! That's a third of a billable hour!" So within 20 minutes he had given us his resume and his pay. I remembered why I hate Americans.
So the game started, and this dork translated some of what the Russian announcers were saying, which was pretty cool, actually. Of course, he translated everything with the most derisive tone to his voice, and the caveat "these people know nothing". He asked me what I was doing in Russia, and I told him I was a teacher with a desire to be a Russian History professor. He then proceeded to tell me about Fullbrights, and Ford Foundation Grants, and so on and so forth. The fact that I didn't have a grant, that I was actually working for a measly $600 a month, gave him a certain air of superiority. Obviously, I was not somebody to be taken seriously. "Have you read 'The Fall of Big Brother' by Bob Conquest?" Bob, not Robert, like he was his buddy. "No, I haven't." Oh! I was obviously a fool. Even though I knew I shouldn't, I just had to put this guy in his place. "But I have read his Stalin biography and 'Harvest of Sorrow' and 'The Great Terror'", which had the desired dumbfounding effect. He had no idea what I was talking about.
Soon he got hungry, and after explaining to him the futility in getting all you can eat, tried to wave down a waitress. Of course, customer service is an art that hasn't quite found it's way into the majority of Russian establishments, and after a few unsuccessful attempts, he started into the "I hate this country" mode. I mean, it was incredible. Right after Phil had said why he hated expat Americans, here was the living embodiment of the stereotype. Phil wasn't saying a word to the guy, but me, being the swell guy that I am, continued to be polite to his idiocy, even though as the night went on I increasingly started to use a more sarcastic tone, which I figure he caught on to. But that didn't stop him. He had to pontificate on the state of the economy, the rule of law, and other various subjects that he obviously knew more about than we did, not being lawyers with all the right connections. He was convinced that the country was going to destroy itself, fall into the abyss, and all the other normal doomsday prophecies that one can gleam from any English-language media report.
The game was decent, not great, but not your typical Super Bowl blowout for most of the game. It was only in the fourth quarter that the Broncos put the game out of reach, and the fact that Chris Chandler was just Neil O'Donell in another uniform came to be seen. But as much as I wanted the Falcons to win (that typical American trait of rooting for the underdog), I wanted this guy to leave, knowing that once the game was truly out of reach, he would. And this turned out to be true. After Chandler threw his third straight interception, he left, only to come back a couple minutes later. "I forgot my laptop," he said as he grabbed his bag. "If only I'd known!" said Phil.
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Any body out there have some ugly expat experiences? Send it in!
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RE:
Budget File #6
I'm not sure excactly how I came to be a recipient of your column but I read this one today because I have a special interest in Russian or Russians…Of course stereotypes are suspect, and I would definitely believe that there is a kind of mind set that comes from a history of domination. I use domination as my word because it points to the complex of domination and submission. And domination and submission might result in something other than laziness. Passive agression perceived as laziness? Domination and submission are an interlocking psychological reality, a relationship reality that usually has a chain effect. There's always someone else who is being dominated from top to bottom, and then of course the dominating party is a needy addict to the relationship, and therefore not entirely free from the circle that is created and therefore, would not be able to be motivated themselves to dominate if in fact the result were laziness or stagnation. So I am not sure the equation is accuarate: oppression leads to laziness. The question about the decay of Soviet Society or Russia may have more to do with pilfering and misappropriation of funds…than laziness. You could say pilfering at the top resulted in a demoralization at the bottom. But what were the motives of the top, really? To create our idea of society or perpetuate their own order? … Another question I would ask is are we talking about Russians living in Russia or Russians living recently in America. How do we explain the success of Russians in America ? Is it permission from the top, lateral opportunity, they were the genetic exceptions? I don't know. I wonder about these things myself.
Best,
Michael Rothenberg
Reply :
Now, I can't really decipher all that you're trying to say, Michael. It seems that you yourself have some dominance/submissive issues you need to deal with. I have some friend that might be able to help you with that, and they don't charge much. But that's besides the point. I did like your comment re : Passive aggresion percieved as laziness. That is entirely valid. But I don't believe that it is oppresion itself that leads to laziness/passive agressiveness (the pilfering comment you made could be another reason) or even that the Russian people are lazy, I just found it intresting that my students, here in Russia, promulgated this view, and I tried to understand the reasons why they feel this way. And you know, another student, in another class, on an entirely different subject, said that Russians are lazy, and that is a big problem. Truth or lack of self-respect ? I don't know. But either way it's hella intresting. I do appreciate your comments.
johnnie b. baker
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Until next time . . .
#8
February 13, 1999
Sanctions Rant
So sanctions happy Washington has decided to start slapping Russia around. In the last month or so, it seems not a week goes by without some new sanctions, or at least a threat of sanctions, is thrust onto Russia. A few weeks back, sanctions were slapped on a couple of Russian scientific institutes, for allegedly helping Iran’s nuclear program. Of course, it dosen’t make any difference that the nuclear power station in Iran that the Russians are helping to finsh was started by the U.S. under the Shah. The Mendeleev Chemical Institute, the premier scientific institute in the land, was one affected. I actually have some friends that teach English there, and I hope to teach there next year. I can’t wait. To actually work in a place that the U.S. Government has imposed sanctions on would be the end all of my existence here in Russia.
And this last week, threats of sanctions have been issued against Russia because of an arms deal with Syria that is being planned. Syria, which along with Iran and others, is considered a terrorist state in D.C., so any arms deal is strictly taboo. Disregarding the fact that the military systems involved are defensive, the U.S. percieves this sale as helping a terrorist state.
America seems to believe that with Russia as week as it is now, reliant on IMF money, their country on the verge of complete collapse, that they can push it around like any other country. The one thing that Russia has to sell to the world, nuclear knowledge and military technology, have been virtually forbidden by the big man on the block. It is typical of the short-sightedness of American foreign policy, especially where the Middle East and Russia are applied. The two biggest dungheaps of American policy falures are these two places, and with these sanctions they are tied together. The reason why Iran and Syria are considered terrorist states is because of Israel, the real detirminer of American policy in the region. And because of American willingness to serve Israels intrests at whatever the cost, they are willing to treat Russia like crap.
But Russia dosen’t appreciate being treated this way. It is a very proud country. And every instance of Russia being pushed around by the U.S. fuels fire to those who deride the U.S. and call for a return to the old ways. First, the economic ‘reforms’ that are connected in peoples minds with the West lead to the bankruptcy of the country. Then the U.S. has refused to budge on Iraq, a historically close ally of Russia. Then, of course, theres Kosovo. And now, all these sanctions. With Primakov the one weilding the power here, and quite possibly the next president, Russia’s challenges to American policy will become louder and more fierce, as Russian foreign policy has been more against American intrests since he had become foreign minister. The only thing Russia has going for it now is their voice in foreign affairs. And with the surge towards a more rigid nationalism in the country, the more anti-American rhetoric can be heard. And all this talk of Israeli-backed sanctions only adds to it, as well as to an increase of anti-semitism. For the Russians know what Americans are kept ignorant of, and that is Israels influence over the U.S.
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King Hussien died. That’s pretty deep. Sure, he paid only lip-service to democracy, freedom of the press, etc., but as far as Middle Eastern rulers are concerned, he certainly was an enlightened despot. The world will miss him, but I am sure that his son will rule in the same way he did, as a father figure to his people, just as Hussien’s father had.
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So the latest Trial of the Century (remember that last one, O.J. ?), the impeachment of the President, has came to an end. Thank god. Whenever I want to get a chuckle out of my students, I say ‘Bill Clinton’. Ten minutes of every Russian newscast has been spent on the trial. When I was in Istanbul, relaxing in a Turkish Bath, what was on the T.V. but Monica. I don’t know how many times since I left the states that once somebody found out I was American, questions about Monica and Bill would sprout up imeadiatly. I thank God that at least I wasn’t in America for a good chunk of this mess. At least I was spared the vast bulk of everything.
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And now, off to letter land …
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RE :
Budget File #7
Johnnie Baker,
…I'll tell you something that I have noticed in my travels. It is a trend among young Americans to "not want to be known as Americans"; "its cool to be not associated with where you are actually part of". One example that stuck with me, I was working outside a pub in Scotland and saw this attractive woman that was leaving- I asked where she was from. She replied "Vancouver!". I replied, "No, your not from Vancouver – where are you from???" Once again Vancouver came out. It got to the point that I said "No your not , your from The States." She said okay, okay I’m from Arizona." I asked why are you telling me that your not from the United States of America??? Her reply - "I DONT WANT TO BE KNOWN AS AMERICAN !" This really hit home - I knew Americans weren’t regarded well when travelling, but for someone to say they dont want to be known as their home nationality of such a great and powerful country is interesting. See what it is, is that when Americans are travelling - the young ones are learning that people aren't jumping with open arms to greet them. Sad fact - why do so many Americans put Canadian flags on their packs???? Might have all the cash, but cash doesn’t make the world go round - it gets it spinning pretty damn good, but...
Keith Freeman
Canada
Reply-
God, how I love Canadians ! They’re so cuute !
Anways, I was going to tear you to shreds, seeing as how I have never met any American who called himself Canadian. I mean, there are a lot of us out there who aren’t really proud of where we’re from, but none that I know of that would lower themselve’s to be called Canadian ! But my wife, who has travelled much more than I have, tld me that, indded, she had known some Americans who called themselves Canadians. That really surprised me. I know that Amnericans around the world are considered idiots, a fact which is basically true, and that is something I am constantly having to live down. I don’t know how many times some Brit has told me that I’m not like the other Americans they’ve met. ‘Most Americans don’t know a thing about the world.’ How do you think that makes me feel, Brits for christs sake, the same people who would be singing ‘Springtime for Hitler’ if we hadn’t have saved their ass. Now, I never deny that I am American, although when people ask where I’m from, I do say ‘California’ not America. I figure 99% of the people of the world know California, and their impressions of California are different than America as a whole. But, I repeat, I never deny where I’m from.
As far as Americans wearing Canadian flags on their bags, that’s something else I’ve never seen. In fact, it’s a joke amongst non-Canadians that CANADIANS always have their flag emblazoned somewhere on their being. And this has been proven to me again and again. Now, why is that ? I think it’s penis envy, pure and simple. As much as any other country in the world, Canada lives in the shadow of the U.S. And without their little flags, everybody would assume they are Americans. I’m remided of something a Canadian colleague said the other day. She was comparing British English to ‘Western English’. Western English, what the hell is that ? Is England now not considered the west ? But then I realized this is what she said instead of American English, which is what veveybody else, including all textbooks, call the find English dialect spoke in the new world. Here in Moscow ther’s this place called the Mossehead Canadian Bar. Like what the hell is a Canadian Bar ! And it serves the shitiest nachos in the world, which suprises me, because Canadians are known for their nachos !Yeah, I think it’s pretty pathetic for an American to claim he/she’s from Canada, but not as pathetic as being an actual Canadian.
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Expat Experiences
Perhaps Kuwait is a somewhat different world, but I've had my own experiences of expats. Kuwait is, after all, a country in which the majority of the population consists of expats. When I worked at Amideast, which theoretically is a reputable American English training institution, I watched the English teachers come and go--a bunch of oddballs and outcasts, with the occasional misunderstood genius thrown in (since I was never an English teacher, the last is hardly a self-description).
In Kuwait, the Russians--who describe themselves as such, though they included Tajikis, Uzbekhs, Georgians, Chechens, Kazakhs, a bona fide St. Petersburg princess, but not the pair of Lithuanians who avoided the rest of the bunch and renounced the misnomer--the Russians congregate and bash the Kuwaitis, and Arabs in general. The Finns and Danes work in the hospitals and churches, while the Americans come and go, a handful sticking around for years, the rest following contracts from whatever corporate shuffle sent them out in the first place.
Most people don't boast about what they make in Kuwait; the expats expected more than they're getting, and they're disappointed. Those who make the real money don't boast—a thousand dollar pen in the pocket speaks loudly enough. But they have their circles and shops and stick to their own kind, while expats stick to theirs.
Somewhat different environment. I understand the homesickness though.
Donovan Rinker-Morris
Washington D.C.
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Johnnie --
I liked Expat Files plenty. It's curious how, as with Hemmingway, it's when expats get together that things sing.
Thanks --
Michael Andre
New York City
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RE :
My reply to a letter in Budget File #7
about Budget File #6
Dear Mr. Baker,
You were easier to "out" on the submission/domination issue than I thought you would be. We are all somewhere in that complex. I think you should be more aware of your position in the dominance role, when discussing paradigms of cultural behavior patterns with your students so that you will look at better ways to raise the self-esteem of your students. Thanks for your response to my note, and please remove me from your mailing. I'm not interested in "submission" to you any longer. Hope you've heard the wake-up call.
Michael Rothenburg
Reply-
Dear Mr Rothenburg
What the hell are you talking about ? You are totally losing me with your psycho-babble. So I've outed myself, eh? I really think that you have totally missed what the point of my article was, and what my reply to your comments were. For one, I guess you can't take a joke. And two, I was not discussing any "paradigms" with my students. Hell, they probably don't even know that word. My position on the dominance issue? If you mean I like being on top, ok. But are you insinuating that by teaching English, and talking to my students, makes more dominant, i mean, whatever. I don't know what to say. I should look at better ways to promote my students self-esteem? Considering that it about bankrupts the few Russians that can afford classes nowadays, and yet they still plug away at this language to better themselves, I don't think any 'self-esteem' building on my part is needed. The fact that I am a good teacher, and they are improving their English, is good enough. I don’t think a massive nation-wide self-help workshop is going to solve this countries problems.
Have I heard the wake up call?
Yes, I have, and that is not to take you seriously.
Now, get down on your knees
johnnie b. baker
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I was very happy to receive this address in the mail the other day. It is for The Mandrake Press, one of my favourite literary journals. One of its co-editors is David Castleman, who I have had the pleasure of publishing myself. I haven’t read Mandrake since I left the states, so it’s nice to read it on the net. It is chocked full of excellent poetry and prose, and informative reviews, which actually quote the works reviewed, which I especially appreciate. My favourite thing about Mandrake is it’s international bent. Past issues have had translated Chinese and Polish works, and the website has Polish poetry, if you can read Polish. If you have a literary frame of mind, check this site out. It will be well worth your time.
http://www.angelfire.com/pe/TheMandrakePress
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Until next time . . .
Budget Files
