January 11, 1999
C Novim Godom
(Happy New Year)
The Communists had a problem. The biggest holiday of the year in Russia was Christmas. But having proven scientifically that God didn’t exist, let alone his son, they had to get rid of Christmas as a holiday. But what could take its place? Were they going to get rid of Ded Moroz (Santa Claus), Christmas trees, gift giving, the whole kit & kaboodle? Even the Roman Emperor Constantine, when he made Rome Christian, knew he couldn’t completely do away with the old pagan holidays, which is why he changed the Sun God Festival into Christmas. So what would the commies do? They moved it all to New Years. A nice secular holiday. So even now, after the fall, December 31st is the big day, Christmas and New Years all in one. It is the biggest holiday of the year.
Most Russians spend the holiday at their dachas or at home with friends and family, but that doesn’t stop tens of thousands from converging on Red Square for some major festivities. After gorging ourselves on food and vodka at a Georgian restaurant, that’s where my wife and I, with our friends, headed.
After sweating getting there, (We had stopped at someone’s flat for a couple more drinks, only to find at 11:40 that the metro was closed. Had to take a couple of cabs, arriving at 11:55.) we found the square crowded with revelers, drinking champagne and lighting fireworks. (Drunk Russians with explosives! That’s where I want to be!)
Red Square was quite beautiful, all lit up in its visual splendor. The sky was lit up by people shooting off bottle rockets. All around us were lights and explosions. We had to dodge the errant rockets and flames. I felt like I was in a war zone, what with all the whistles and pops happening around us. People were lighting rockets in empty champagne bottles, so on top of everything else there was exploding glass. At times it got kinda scary. Our friend Lynn actually had a firecracker bounce of her head and then explode on the ground. I’m surprised I didn’t see at least one person on fire.
But still everything was beautiful and entertaining. As Simon kept saying, “This is my life!” and it was so true. I mean, New Years Eve in Red Square. Something to tell the grandkids. Fireworks bursting in the cold, clear air above St. Basil’s, Lenin’s Tomb. Turks dancing in big circles. Little kids with sparklers in their hands. There was nowhere else in the world I would have rather been.
And as the clock struck midnight on the big clock on Nickolsky Tower, there were hugs and kisses for everybody, just like everywhere else in the world (save China, Iran, etc.), and “C Novim Godom!” echoing through the square.
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Didn’t get as many replies to the last file as I did the first one. Maybe I should stick with the geo-politics. Seems to get more reactions from people. But here’s one I did get, which is my favourite so far:
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Subject: take me off your spam list
dont email me agian asshole
Ken Boes
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So here was my reply:
Subject: Love is All Around
Dear Sir
I am hurt that you consider my journalistic endeavors spam! I am not trying to sell you new software, or direct you to my naked girlfreinds porn site. But of course, then I read your erudite comments concerning my literary pretensions, and I understand. Of course, I will take you off my mailing list. And of course, I will include your obviously well intentioned commentary in my next Budget File.
Thank you, and my butt puckers for you.
johnnie b. baker
#4
January 16, 1997
Ataturk...Ataturk...Everywhere!
Like all schools in the west, come the end of December there is a break from school. Me and the wife had been able to save a chunk of dough, so we decided to travel to Istanbul for vacation. Maybe it would be a bit warmer, and hanging out at mosques would be a pleasant change from cathedrals. I have always been interested in Moslem countries, and Turkey in particular, so it was something I was greatly looking forward to. Plus, it was only $200 round trip from Moscow!
For the first time in my life I felt like a tourist. We stayed at a hotel, not a hostel. We weren’t visiting any friends. I was taking pictures of everything. We never left the city. Here are some thoughts and impressions I had of Istanbul.
One of the first things I noticed was the presence of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk everywhere. The founder of the modern Turkish republic in 1923, his image is everywhere you turn. His face graces every single paper currency. But it’s not different poses, but the same picture! In every shop, cafe, or restaurant you go into, there is a picture or bust or something of Ataturk, watching whatever you do. For the first time in my life, I was actually seeing a national cult of personality first hand. And to tell you the truth, I loved it! I mean, I was starting to get pretty swept away with nationalist fever! I mean, screw the Kurds! Screw the Greeks! Screw the Islamists! Turkey is a great nation built by a great man! You walk through the Grand Bazaar, which has to be the oldest mall in the world, and huge banners proclaiming the 75th anniversary of the state hang from the ceiling, with Ataturk looking down on you. In the most fashionable districts of the city, Ataturk’s everywhere! It became a game, wherever I went, I had to find Ataturk, and it never took that long. There were Ataturk postcards, calendars, and T-shirts for the tourists. My wife started to get angry with me because I couldn’t stop taking pictures of Ataturk posters and statues. You could never be too far away from Ataurks gaze, which surely symbolizes the omnipresence of the Turkish State today.
Turkey calls itself a democracy. Indeed, the have elected city councils and mayors, and an elected parliament. But the real force in the country is the military. When Ataturk cane to power, he vowed to make Turkey a secular state, one where Islam and politics were never to mix. One where the state was above all. As the Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk, in his book “The New Life” says, a state where the desire to set oneself apart from others, to be someone special who had a goal that was different, is considered a crime that could never be forgiven. “Happiness is being a Turk” is a saying that has been promulgated by the state. A compliant, secular Turk. And so it came as no surprise to me that the only place that I didn’t see any pictures of Ataturk were in the mosques.
The largest party in the parliament is the Virtue Party. The bastion of the Islamists. It is the fastest growing party in the country. In a country that is a police state, with an undeclared war against the Kurds in a large portion of the state, where the economy is on the verge of collapse and where the influence of the west has dramatically altered the society, on larger and larger portion of the people are turning to the only form of dissent that is possible, a return to Islam and a vote for Virtue. As with all developing countries, there is being a quick depopulation of the countryside, with the major cities growing at an enormous rate. Turkey, and Istanbul, is no exception. And like many in many countries, both in the west and outside, the massive changes have brought on a growth of populist political movements. Once again, Turkey is no exception. But the people’s ideas of an Islamic solution to their problems clashes with the mighty ideals of Ataturk, and the guardians of those ideals, the military.
In the last parliamentary elections, the Virtue Party (or the Welfare Party, as it was known then), garnered more votes than any other. So, as in most other parliamentary democracies, it was asked to form the government, which they did. But soon the powers that be, who call themselves the “Security Council”, of course, didn’t like the way the Party was running the country. Now, this group of Generals in the past has had no problems overthrowing the elected government with military means, as they have done in the past, but this time they didn’t have to. They just exerted enough pressure to where the Islamists were forced out of power. Soon after, Their leader was thrown out of parliament and legal proceedings began on some obscure charges. The mayor of Istanbul, a Welfare Party member, was also arrested. The entire party was banned (hence the name change). But they are still the largest party.
Since the quiet coup, the Turkish parliament hasn’t been able to create a stable government. Bitter rivals have aligned themselves to form one, only to have them dissolve in acrimony and corruption charges soon after. After the latest government fell, there was actually some talk to include Virtue in the government, but once again the Security Council made it clear that they were opposed to this option. So finally, after numerous attempts that failed over a period of weeks, a new government was formed without Virtue. They will hold office until April, when new elections are scheduled. But with the popularity of Virtue growing daily, will the military allow these elections to take place? And even if they do, will they honor the outcome, one that they will certainly look down on disfavor? These were the questions being asked in the English language Turkish Daily News when I visited.
Well, I guess I’ve kinda got of the track. This was supposed to be a nice travelogue type piece. But as is usually the case with me, I get sidetracked into politics and history. Oh well. And I haven’t even talked about the Kurds (one of my favorite topics to ramble on about). This one is getting kinda long, so I guess I’ll have to continue on next week…
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And now, here are some letters-
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I am sorry that you had a bad reply previously. I did like the comments on the Moscow celebration. I am afraid it made me aware of how much I hate crowds and prefer the quiet of just my family and no alcohol. Not a prude just enjoy life on a very different level. Thanks for sharing.
Kathy
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Thanks for the news of the Russian Front. It contrasts with my one and only New Year's Eve trip to Times Square -- when I first moved here, thirty years ago. All I remember is too much cold, re-routed buses and so many people, no one could see the famous ball drop.
Michael Andre
New York City
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Just read your last missive, and am forwarding it to all my friends…Who was that guy that asked you not to e-mail him again? And should I put him on my list to mail all kinds of junk to?…
Allen Offord
Riverside, CA, USA
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how can we funk you? haz zmerkel taken over? make uz a offer az we float the zurrealizt zolar zyztem.& look out for the twizted adventurez of Mr.duhZenin zome zhape or form==
all replyz to dreadnautz 1 zhould be zent to unitedfunkoriginalez@yahoo.com or 1-415 995-4902
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Until next time...
Budget Files
